"Hack"

I want to tell people that leaving a computer/phone logged into a profile is not "hacking" it. Your friends/ co-workers/ family are not hacking your shit. They are walking up to it...

Insurance like an adult.

I just called my insurance company, "so I bought a gun, does that change anything?" 

"Nope." 

Me: "What if I accidentally shoot someone?" 

"It'll be covered." 

Me: *giggle* *gasp* "I don't plan on shooting anyone! I was just wondering how this all works..."

Asking for what you want: Booty.

2 days ago I walked up to a pirate statue and was going to take a picture with it...  This Pirate guy walks up and says they are here with props and taking photos for donations to the food bank.  I LOVE FOOD!! I donate.  He started to pose facing me, I said, "I WANT BOOTY!!"  And he turned around.